girl i hope you appreciate your boyfriend. he just stood practically on top of a horror movie monster so you could get out of the elevator first. he loves you.
are we going to ignore the actress who got kicked in the face
well thats the price you pay for fucking terrifying someone
This whole post is GOLD
Yea, if you’re an actor and you deliberately try to freak people out then you need to be aware it’s flight or FIGHT. There’s a chance that someone will run away screaming but someone could also square up and try to kick your creepy ass.
By deciding to be a creepy bastard you are accepting the possibility that you might end up getting hurt and I do not feel sorry for you.
I had a server tell me about how he was harassed into going to a church baptism ceremony by a not so close friend and to get them off his back he agreed
He decided some time before that of he was going to be forced to do this her might as well have fun with it right? So he goes to lush and buys one of the black bath bombs, and cuts it in half.
Now fast forward to the day of and he is wearing a small harness under his shirt that is keeping both haves of the bath bomb one either shoulder blade.
He volunteers to get baptised
They take him up put him in the white robe and then he waits for his turn. Now the friend who invited him had no clue what he is doing. They are pleasantly surprised to see him participating.
Honestly. A mistake on their part.
I only knew this guy for a max of 45 minutes and I could already tell this dude was a chaos entity.
So his turn comes up and they go to dunk him and the water immediately starts to foam and turn black and he starts screaming like a banchee jumps out the water and hisses at the priest
Everyone fucking lost it and her was banned from ever attending that church again.
So yeah all in all seems like a great thing to do for a hilarious story
sunnysbooks asked: so i’m not a witch, but i was curious about each of the holidays or events (idk what they’re called) like samhain and yule. can you explain each of them since i thought it easier to ask than to google. thanks!
Yule: Yule is sometimes called the winter solstice, it celebrates the rebirth of the sun, the sun god and honors the horned god. We celebrate what’s to come and thank the gods. It’s basically a time to reflect and look back on everything that’s happened over the past year. Some people use Yule as another way to say Christmas, but this isn’t true, Yule was Christianised and called Christmas but Yule and Christmas are different things. This year Yule begins on the 21st of December and ends on 1st of January.
Imbolc: Imbolc celebrates the coming of spring and is held on the 1st or 2nd or February. The original word means ‘in the belly’, referring to pregnancy and the beginning of new life, both new life of animals and nature as flowers begins to bloom again. On Imbolc, we celebrate the growth of the returning light. It’s time to make resolutions and goals.
Ostara: Ēostre or Ostara (also called the Spring Equinox) is celebrated on the 21st -22nd of March and represents balance as night and day are equal in length. It represents balance and equality in everything in our lives; light and dark, masculinity and femininity, inner and outer etc. ‘The natural world is coming alive, the Sun is gaining in strength and the days are becoming longer and warmer.’ Its time for the hopes and resolutions of Imbolc to grow and bloom.
Beltane: Celebrated on May 1st, Beltane represents the peak of Spring and beginning of Summer. The Earth is at its peak and so is the sexuality of life. ‘The Maiden goddess has reached her fullness. She is the manifestation of growth and renewal, Flora, the Goddess of Spring, the May Queen, the May Bride.’ We celebrate love, life, fertility, nature, and growth.
Litha: Summer is now in full swing and we honor the longest days of the year. The focus is most often focused on the energy and power of the sun, it’s the perfect time for sun witches to recharge and thrive. The crops are growing and so are we. It’s a great time to get back to your roots and pay your respects to Mother Nature. In 2019, Litha is on the 24th of June.
Lammas: Lammas is celebrated between August 1st and September 1st, this year it lands of August 1st. This festival celebrates the annual wheat/grain harvest and is the first harvest festival of the year. People often bake bread on Lammas to use the newly harvested crops.
Mabon: In 2019, Mabon will begin on September 21st and will end on September 29th. Once again, all things are in balance. This is the second harvest festival, the fruit harvest. As the grain from Lammas has been harvested, we enjoy the abundance of fruit and vegetables. Squash is currently in season, and many use pumpkin and butternut squash. The festival is a giving of thanks.
Samhain: On Samhain, we mark the end of harvest season and the beginning of winter, it’s the end of the birth and growth cycle and is a celebration of death. It’s celebrated on 31st of October and lots of people call it Halloween. It’s the final festival of nuts and berries, it’s also the fire festival and lots of people like to celebrate with bonfires. Now is a good time to honor passed friends and family or your ancestors. ‘Traditionally the veils between the worlds are at their thinnest now. Boundaries dissolve and all is laid bare. It is time to honor and offer hospitality to, our ancestors. At Samhain, the dark half of the year commences. It is a truly magical time. Death is always followed by rebirth and while this is the end of the old year, it is the beginning of the new year.’ Many Pagans like to call it the Pagan New Year.
As someone who writes a lot (mostly about mental illnesses/poetry though), this was really fun to write for you guys. If anyone else has some questions about plants, herbalism, paganism, mental health, self-care or anything similar, I’d really like to take my mind of stress and write for you guys.
one of the few crossdressing ducks that didn’t make me break out in hives, on account of not having been forced to do it for emasculating reasons or anything, it’s just a practical solution to daisy having too many obligations since they look exactly, and i mean exactly the same
one of those obligations was manning a kissing booth for charity and donald punching a catcaller in the face escalates into guys just fucking lining up to get decked by a cute little duck
